lessons expanded

ok so what lessons am I learning????

...... to listen to God's voice in everything. It's a whole new journey in not self discipline but divine discipline. I want to lose weight but struggle with food, so God has encouraged me to listen to Him, "is this good for my body, do I need this", I have been really challenged that our finances belong to God and to follow His direction before spending money, we've always been quite generous with our money and with gifts, but I sense God calling us deeper into the gift of giving and he needs our finances in order if we are going to be able to do that. To stop and seek God before eating and spending may sound simple but for me it's been huge and is very much a journey that I'm not always getting right.

I am also learning to follow God's promptings. There have been a couple of times lately I've had a nagging feeling to call someone or talk to someone about something and have realised later it was God wanting to use me to bless that person and if I don't pay attention then I miss out on a chance to bless someone!! Part of this lesson is boldness, to not be afraid what people think or of looking foolish, but to be obedient. One such time was stepping out and asking someone that I kept running into for their phone number to keep in touch, I wasn't sure if that would come across as way too forward when I barely knew this person, but after too many 'coincidence' meetings I knew it was a God thing and am looking forward to the friendship developing (yes she gave me her number and we're getting to know each other!).

I'm also learning to embrace life as a mum and to really rely on God during each moment. To be hoonest I am struggling with the juggling act of 3 kids. I feel guilty that none of them get the time from me I'd like to give them because it feels like I just revolve between them all and also the house stuff. I consider it a major achievement at the moment if the clothes get washed and dinner is cooked and for me that takes a lot of 'learning to live in grace' as I have come from the position in the past of being a very big perfectionist and at the moment I am flat out just getting the basics done. I am tired and feeling quite overwhelmed that I rarely get 5 mins to myself and I find myself resenting my husband sometimes because he gets to leave the house without kids and get scheduled meal breaks and I find it really bugs me when I'm feeding Elora during the night while he is snoring beside me, it feels so unfair. And yet this is my calling as a mum and I'm so enjoying being able to breastfeed, even if it means less freedom. God is teaching me to be less selfish and I never realised how painful self sacrifce can be, I wanna learn to be gracious and not try and make a martyr out of myself!!

So that's a snapshot of my current life lessons. I feel this is a real season of letting go of myself and learning to fully immerse in God!!! It has timed in well with starting at a new church as well (we tried a large one for a while but are now at a smaller local version of that big church and we're really enjoying it) where I am also enjoying some very challenging teaching lately and learning to be bold to meet new people. Learning to immerse in God without lots of 'quiet time' is a challenge all in itself, I'm playing worship music, praying while doing daily things, and just being in God's presence in the midst of busyness, plus snatching the quieter times when I can, I am drawing closer to God in a whole new way of needing Him to get through each day!!!