So Excited!! :-)

Well I got my approval from the Board of Studies and am now officially a home schooler, YAY! We met up with a group of home schoolers at Penrith ice skating rink today which was great. I met up with a friend from church who also home schools and she introduced me to 2 lovely ladies, leaving plenty more there for me to meet next time (didn't realise there were so many people doing this!), and Jaden had a great time. It was his very first go at ice skating and I was so proud of him that even though he fell several times he kept getting up and trying again and by the time we left he was going quite well. I was so impressed that he just stuck at it and didn't let his frustration lead to a meltdown, big YAY for Jaden. :-)

So today was our official start and we'll be getting started on schoolwork next week. I'm really excited about some of the hands on stuff I have planned and was amazed when looking online last night for some stuff on the history of St Marys that there was so much available.

I was feeling a little downhearted yesterday after my ladies Bible study group cause we have been looking at the book 'Captivating' and we are up to the part about wanting an irrelaceable role in an adventure. I started feeling like my days of any adventure are gone now that I'm 'chained' to the house and the children and I got myself feeling quite down in the dumps until God gently reminded me being a mother to my children is part of my "irreplaceable role". Who else would fight so hard for Jaden to have a fair go at things, or spend hours finding things that he would like to do??? I haven't signed away my life, I've embarked on a brand new adventure, and that change in perspective has me all excited now :-)

The inspector is coming to call!

I got a phone call this morning from the 'authorised person' for this area from the home school office saying if I wanted a visit before Jaden's school goes back it would have to be 9am tomorrow. I'm so excited!!! It means I don't have to worry about any issues arising from not sending Jaden back to school next week and yet not being registered with the Board of Studies, so YAY for answered prayer!!!!

I had a busy day today going over all my curriculum plans again and re-typing them up, on top of doing the grocery shopping (complete with a Jaden meltdown in the middle of Woolies during which I kept perfectly calm so I was very proud of myself!!) and cleaning the house. So I am now quite weary and am heading to bed. Little miss Bethany slept through the night last night (insert happy dance here), I'm hoping for an encore peformance tonight but will wait and see :-)

One of those days.

After all that God has been showing me lately about the beauty in my son it stands to reason that there would be a time to test my new found 'wisdom'. Today was that day! One of those days filled with disobedience, meltdowns etc, topped off with a teething baby... I thought maybe I fed both my children grumpy pills for breakfast!!! I just had to laugh or I would've cried.

The doubts began ... can I really commit to staying home with Jaden every day without going insane? Am I really the kind of mum that I need to be to pull this off? Maybe not, but I know I'm not alone. God is always with me and we'll do this together!!!!! Here's to a new day tomorrow filled with God's fresh mercies (and hopefully less grumpy children :-))

On a brighter note Bethany was so close to rolling over today but didn't qute get there, so exciting to see her growing. I love watching her play with her toys now and focus really hard to get her hands to go where she wants them. In the bath today I was holding her so she could sit up and she was so excited to find her feet, I realised she always has socks on and it was probably the first time she'd seen her naked toes. Adorable :-)

I had to include a photo of my little girl eating her pumpkin today, she ate it all up (apart from what she smeared on her face and then rubbed everywhere once she got her hands in the way). Such a cute pumpkinhead. Shame I didn't think to get a photo of Jaden today. I sent him outside to play after his 3rd meltdown of the day and he was calm and content for a good hour playing in a patch of dirt. Of course he added water when I wasn't looking and got himself nice and muddy. He got banished to the laundry to clean up before coming inside, but he was as happy as Larry for those few moments of the day :-)

It's all about perspective!!

I have started reading a book I picked up at Koorong after just glancing at it called "Take heart", about families living with a child who has a disability and it has been very challenging. I have realised that despite learning lots about aspergers and trying to understand how my son sees the world that I never really grasped deep down that he is different and that's ok. God created him unique and while that doesn't fit the world's standards he is no mistake, that means all of him, including his different brain chemistry!! I have tried so hard over the years to do all the right things to help him be as 'normal' as possible and I had a lightbulb moment today when I realised how much that displays my own prejudice cause he is ok just the way he is. Of course he needs to learn startegies to cope in a world that doesn't understand him, but no amount of 'help' will ever change who he is.

I find that so encouraging and yet so challenging at the same time. Life with Jaden will always be challenging, but up till now I have failed to see the rewards of watching such a unique and creative individual make his own contribution to the world in the ways that he knows how and I have done him a disservice in that. I have focussed so much on his weaknesses that I have forgotten his strengths. Some days it is so hard to be his mother that I forget the joy that he brings to my world too.

I have been getting confirmation after confirmation from God that the time has come to bite the bullet, stop being scared and stop doubting myself and home school my son. He doesn't fit into the box at school and never will and I am going to stop trying to make him fit, despite the criticisms and opinions of many others who disagree with my choice. I will be brave and obedient!

I have seen God do so much work in my own life turning the ashes of my own sin and pain into beauty that he has used to encourage others through various ministries. I can see now that there is also so much beauty amidst the ashes of a disability that up until now has been a source of grief, frustration and disappointment. I have missed it by not having my eyes open to what God is doing, so I hope to keep my eyes wide open from now on to see the beauty and not just the pain.

My family.

The day I married the love of my life, Brett :-) Brett, Jaden and I on our family holiday to Tasmania in July 2009. A beautiful day at Cradle Mountain.

Brett and I at a wedding in Tasmania when I was 7 months pregnant with our little girl.

My gorgeous munchkins, Bethany Joy and Jaden Thomas. July 2009.

Family photo at Bethany's dedication 21st June 2009. We definately need a better family shot!!!

I have no idea how to do this!

This is my very first time doing a blog and I have absoluetly no idea how this thing works so am pretty much just testing it out right now.