It's all about perspective!!

I have started reading a book I picked up at Koorong after just glancing at it called "Take heart", about families living with a child who has a disability and it has been very challenging. I have realised that despite learning lots about aspergers and trying to understand how my son sees the world that I never really grasped deep down that he is different and that's ok. God created him unique and while that doesn't fit the world's standards he is no mistake, that means all of him, including his different brain chemistry!! I have tried so hard over the years to do all the right things to help him be as 'normal' as possible and I had a lightbulb moment today when I realised how much that displays my own prejudice cause he is ok just the way he is. Of course he needs to learn startegies to cope in a world that doesn't understand him, but no amount of 'help' will ever change who he is.

I find that so encouraging and yet so challenging at the same time. Life with Jaden will always be challenging, but up till now I have failed to see the rewards of watching such a unique and creative individual make his own contribution to the world in the ways that he knows how and I have done him a disservice in that. I have focussed so much on his weaknesses that I have forgotten his strengths. Some days it is so hard to be his mother that I forget the joy that he brings to my world too.

I have been getting confirmation after confirmation from God that the time has come to bite the bullet, stop being scared and stop doubting myself and home school my son. He doesn't fit into the box at school and never will and I am going to stop trying to make him fit, despite the criticisms and opinions of many others who disagree with my choice. I will be brave and obedient!

I have seen God do so much work in my own life turning the ashes of my own sin and pain into beauty that he has used to encourage others through various ministries. I can see now that there is also so much beauty amidst the ashes of a disability that up until now has been a source of grief, frustration and disappointment. I have missed it by not having my eyes open to what God is doing, so I hope to keep my eyes wide open from now on to see the beauty and not just the pain.