Love and War

I haven't blogged for over a month because the things going on in my life have been deep things in my heart that I was walking through, processing and not yet ready to put into words, but I felt it was time to give a little snippet. One of the big areas of change in my life recently has been in my marriage. Anyone who has read my blog for a while may remember we had some issues a few months back, well we ended up back at the same place recently and to be honest I was wondering whether it was worth the effort to continue on the merry go round and keep going round in circles, I was ready to just give up. I was so hurt and angry and felt totally justified in my thoughts of walking away, but God has used the crisis we faced to not only bring change in my husband's life but also very much in mine because apparently there are 2 broken people in a marriage not just one and I had been overlooking that part and just focusing on everything he was doing wrong (I'm not perfect, imagine that!!). Anyway I wont go into details of it all but lets just say we have reinvented our marriage and it is amazing!!! God is amazing, He is a healer, a comforter and He can do the impossible!!

I have been reading "Love and War" by John and Stasi Elderidge through all of this and think it is the best marriage book I have ever come across, so honest and practical, I highly recommend it! I read the introduction in the car in the Koorong carpark and was in tears, I hadn't even got to chapter 1 yet, this is some of what had me in tears that day:

"A lie is going to come to both of you.. in subtle and not so subtle ways. It can't be done. It's too hard. We had unrealistsic expectations. It isn't worth it. The lie to you (woman) will be 'you are nothing more than a disappointment' and the lie to you (man) will be 'you are not really man enough for this'......It can be done and it is worth it, of all the things a man or woman need to hear about marriage this is perhaps the most important of all."

Yes it is worth it and I am here for the journey, no longer thinking everything would be fine if my husband just got his act together, but seeking God for how I need to change to love my husband better and be more of the person God wants me to be, and that is going to be a lifelong journey :-)